LIVE BY CHOICE NOT BY CHANCE!!!!

We’ve all been there—watching someone, be it a friend, sibling, or colleague, fall into the same pattern again and again. You warn them. They listen. They promise change. And then, they slip right back into the same mistake as if nothing ever happened. It’s frustrating. Sometimes, even painful. But if we’re being completely honest, the person we’re most frustrated with might even be ourselves.

The Bhagavad Gita, an ancient Indian text filled with timeless wisdom, offers guidance on how to deal with such situations—not by changing others, but by changing how we see them.

1. You Can Act, But You Can’t Control the Outcome

One of the Gita’s most well-known teachings is from Chapter 2, Verse 47:
“You have a right to perform your duty, but not to the fruits of your actions.”

What does this mean in everyday life? It means you can advise, support, and care deeply for someone—but their choices are not in your hands. Their growth is not your responsibility. You may be a part of their story, but you’re not the author. And when you let go of the need to control, you also let go of the weight that comes with it.

2. Wisdom Cannot Be Given—Only Received

When Krishna stood before Arjuna in the Gita, he didn’t issue commands. He shared insight. He explained, patiently and clearly—but the decision was Arjuna’s to make. That’s how wisdom works. You can offer it, but you can’t force someone to accept it.

People often understand lessons only when they’re ready. And readiness doesn’t always come from listening to advice—it comes from living through experience. You can speak the truth, but they must arrive at it themselves.

3. Detachment is Not Indifference—It’s Unconditional Love

The Gita teaches Vairagya—detachment. But detachment doesn’t mean walking away emotionally. It means caring without clinging. It’s the kind of love that says, “I am here for you, but I won’t tie my happiness to your choices.”

To love someone truly is to honour their journey—even when it’s filled with mistakes. Detachment lets you support them without falling apart when they stumble.

4. Let Life Be Their Teacher

Think about your own most powerful life lessons. Chances are, they didn’t come from being told what to do. They came from consequences—from falling, getting back up, and figuring things out.

Often, the most compassionate thing you can do for someone is to step back and let life teach them. Not with judgment. Not with bitterness. But with trust that their experience will bring the lesson home more deeply than any words ever could.

5. Protect Your Peace

Throughout the Gita, Krishna emphasizes that peace doesn’t come from changing the world—it comes from mastering the self.

If someone else’s behavior is robbing you of your peace, that’s something to look at within yourself. Why does their pattern affect you so much? Is it because you care? Or is it because it challenges your expectations?

In the end, people will keep making mistakes. Some will grow. Others may not. But your peace doesn’t have to depend on their journey.

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The Real Shift: From Control to Clarity

So instead of asking, “Why do they keep making the same mistakes?”—ask, “Why is this bothering me so much?” That question leads to real transformation.

When you stop trying to change others and focus on your own response, you free yourself. You become a source of calm instead of control. A guide rather than a critic. And a space of love that doesn’t depend on perfection.

That’s the wisdom of the Bhagavad Gita. Not about changing the world—but changing how we live in it.

@nandasagec MANISHA NANDAN